Introduction

Marriage can be a beautiful journey filled with shared dreams, laughter and companionship. However, it’s also a complex terrain where challenges may arise and couples must make critical decisions about their lives together. Often, couples can work through these challenges without external assistance, but sometimes a certified divorce and marriage coach can be leaned upon to clarify the issues and assist with the decision-making process.

This blog aims to provide guidance, support and practical insights to couples dealing with challenges who may need additional guidance, support and coaching. Let’s explore some aspects of the decision-making process when contemplating the next phase in your relationship or marriage, including examining what’s working well, what isn’t and how to approach these decisions with empowerment and compassion.

1. Reflecting on What’s Working Well

a. Communication and Emotional Intimacy

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Take a moment to reflect on how well you and your partner communicate. Are you able to express your feelings openly? Do you actively listen to each other? How well do you solve problems together? The ability to connect deeply and share vulnerabilities are hallmarks of successful marriages and relationships.

b. Shared Values and Goals

Consider and review the alignment of your values and long-term goals. Are you both committed to similar life paths? Discuss your aspirations, whether they involve career, family, or personal growth. While TV and movies often portray the notion that “opposites attract,” the truth is, shared dreams create a strong foundation.

2. Acknowledging Challenges

a. Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy plays a vital role in marriage. Are you both satisfied with your intimate life? If challenges exist, you can seek professional guidance or explore ways to rekindle passion. Remember that intimacy evolves over time, requires trust, and open conversations are essential.

b. Overcoming Obstacles

Every marriage faces obstacles—financial stress, parenting disagreements, or external pressures. Acknowledge these challenges without blame. Instead, focus on solutions. Seek marriage coaching, read relationship books, or attend workshops together.

3. Envisioning the Future

a. Shared Vision

Imagine your future together. What do you want it to look like? Discuss your dreams, travel plans, retirement goals, and more. Celebrate the moments when you align your visions, creating a roadmap for a fulfilling life side by side.

b. Individual Growth

Empowered decisions involve recognizing individual growth. Celebrate when you both encourage each other’s personal development. Support your partner’s passions and celebrate their achievements. Remember that a healthy marriage allows space for individual flourishing.

4. Honesty and Vulnerability

a. Honest Conversations

Speak honestly about your needs and wants. Avoid assumptions or unspoken expectations. When you both courageously and clearly express your desires, fears and hopes, wonderful things can open up for you. Honesty fosters trust and strengthens your bond.

b. Vulnerability as Strength

Being vulnerable doesn’t signify weakness—it’s a sign of strength. Vulnerability deepens emotional intimacy and creates a safe space for growth. Celebrate moments when you allow yourselves to be truly seen.

5. Self-Reflection and Communication

a. Assess Your Feelings

Take time to reflect on your emotions. Are you feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unhappy? Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Celebrate moments when you allow yourself to be honest about your emotional state.

b. Communicate Openly

Engage in open conversations with your partner. Discuss your concerns, hopes, and fears. Celebrate when you both actively listen and express yourselves. Honest communication lays the foundation for informed decisions.

6. Seek Professional Guidance

If you need help, consider the benefits of seeing a marriage and divorce coach. A Certified Professional Coach (CPC) has the training, insights and compassion to support you when you need help – either as a couple or individually. A certified marriage and divorce coach can guide you through communication techniques, conflict resolution and understanding each other’s perspectives.

7. Trial Separation

Is a trial separation right for you? Discuss a trial separation with your partner. It’s a difficult decision, but it can provide both parties a “cooling off” period and allow both parties time to assess what’s really important to them. Use this time to evaluate your feelings, needs and compatibility. Define expectations regarding communication, finances, and living arrangements during the trial separation. Clarity prevents misunderstandings and allows both parties to fully invest their time and energy to reflect on next steps for the relationship.

8. Legal and Practical Considerations

If divorce is a possibility, consult a lawyer. A divorce and marriage coach who has a legal background can also provide an overview of the process and options if hiring a lawyer feels unnecessary or premature.

Conclusion

Making decisions about your marriage requires courage, compassion, and self-awareness. Consider each option—whether it’s choosing to stay, separating, or divorcing—as an opportunity for growth and healing. Remember that empowered decisions come from a place of love and respect for both you and your partner.

To go deeper into this conversation, download this FREE resource:

To Stay or To Split?

A Guide to Empowered Marriage and Divorce Decision-Making

This FREE resource will help you:

• Start to peel back the layers of what’s causing you to feel unhappy, unfulfilled, or dissatisfied with your marriage.

• Make a well-balanced, thoughtful decision of whether you want to reinvest in your marriage or transition to divorce.

• Envision what your next chapter might look and feel like, regardless of your ultimate decision.

Click HERE to access the guide!